A Powerful Message About Love And Relationships.
Authors Note: Whilst this story stands alone, it will be much more meaningful if you read the first story in the series - Living Authentically Live Your Truth Power Purpose Potential Story 1 first.
Sam sat admiring the beautiful and tranquil garden that never ceased to amaze him with its surreal presence. It was his favourite place for reflection and to find solace from his broken heart. He had been at the ashram now for three and half years. He had come to heal his grief of losing his wife Clare. She had been the love of his life. He had fallen in love with her the first time he saw her. They had both been out walking their dogs. Jetson, my jet black Labrador, was in stark contrast to Clare’s golden Labrador Sunny.
Dogs, unlike people, are not shy in connecting with strangers. They have this natural ability to let their feelings be known immediately. No rejection complexes going on there. Sam and Clare would often laugh and say if it wasn’t for Jetson and Sunny, they would never have met. They would often laugh and say who needs a dating service when you have dogs.
Sam’s heart still shattered into a million pieces whenever he thought of Clare. He didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much. It would often get so overwhelming that he felt he wanted to die. He needed to find a way to survive without Clare.
Time had passed quickly at the ashram. Sam had learned to find some peace in his meditations and also found a measure of solace talking with others. He often found listening to other people’s stories about their pain and frustrations gave him momentary relief from his own. He had a way of connecting with people through his quiet, thoughtful manner. People often told him they always felt better after talking with him. Sam had learnt he did not have to say a lot, but just listen and ask a question here and there. He knew the truth people were seeking was within themselves. Sam did not have to solve people’s problems, just be a conduit for people to solve their own.
This was also the true gift of the ashram. People flocked to the ashram to sit at the feet of the master, believing that he had the power to solve their problems. When people become lost, they usually look outside themselves for the answers. Sam had learned this would often keep people stuck and trapped in a world that didn’t make sense. The truth was within, not without. Little did new arrivals to the ashram realise the Master had created an environment where people could find their own truth. It reminded Sam of the old TV show Fantasy Island. The Island was magically set up so that people could experience their fantasy and in the process gain the insights they needed.
Sam knew the answers to healing his grief lay within and not outside of him. The problem was he had been unable to find the truth he so desperately wanted. Sam was by nature a patient person, but he also knew that his time at the ashram was coming to an end. The Master had never set up the ashram as a means of people escaping from the world and themselves. Sam had seen many people come and go in his three and half years at the ashram. He had observed people spending hours in mediation, but feeling no closer to the truth than when they first arrived. Then, often, something would trigger an unexpected reaction and with that, the insight they were searching for appeared. It was as if a light switch was turned on and their mind suddenly became illuminated with the truth they were searching for.
It reminded Sam of the quote, ‘when the student is ready the teacher appears’. Most people see the teacher as a person, but your greatest teacher is life itself. The life style the ashram created was one where people got to take time out of their busy lives and learn to still the mind. It was this stilling of the mind Sam believed that eventually led to the unexpected breakthroughs. Sam had observed that you cannot go looking for the breakthrough, because that will just keep you chasing your tail. You needed to trust the process without judgement and expectation. It is very much like that old saying, ‘life happens to you, when you are busy making other plans’. Whilst ever you focus on solving the problem, the problem seems to expand in your awareness, keeping you stuck.
Sam had always loved Einstein quote, ‘you cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it’. It sums up the need to disrupt your thinking so that breakthrough moments can occur.
Sam asked himself, but where did all this so-called wisdom leave him? He still grieved deeply for Clare. Would his heart ever heal? He had spoken with the master about this several times. However, the Master always asked Sam the same question, “why do you hold on to your pain?”
The first time the master asked this question, Sam answered with, “I am not holding onto anything. It is just there. I want to heal the pain. It feels so unbearable.” The Master would always look compassionately at Sam and reply, “the answer lies with in you Sam. Look to your heart for the answer.” Sam never understood what the Master meant by this. He would often reflect on this statement, but remained clueless as to what it meant. Sam knew his rational mind could not provide the answer. He wondered whether his epiphany would ever happen.
As he entered his morning meditation, Sam felt a little downcast. He stilled his thinking and entered the quiet space within his mind. Lately, he had found it more difficult to stay in that quiet space. Thoughts wanted to intrude all the time. He had spoken to the Master about this, fearing that he was losing his skill for stilling his mind. The Master had just laughed and said, “Sam, why would you want to control your meditations?” Sam had replied with, “isn’t the point of meditation to still the mind so that you reach a state of no thought?” The Master had just replied with, “Is it?”
This had got Sam thinking. Why was he trying to control his mediations? Was it because he had a belief that the purpose of meditating was to still the mind so there were no thoughts? What if the purpose of mediation was to still the mind so that the truth could reveal itself? Had he got it wrong? Was he using the mediation as a way of quieting his mind so he wouldn’t feel the loss of Clare? What if this was keeping him stuck? Was his reasoning behind why he was mediating stopping the truth from being revealed? He knew enough not to place any expectations and judgements on his mediations, but that is exactly what he had been doing. He had not really learnt to let go. Maybe in amongst all the ego thinking was an inner wisdom wanting to rise to the surface. Maybe if he could just let go and allow without judgements and preconceived ideas, the truth would reveal itself.
As Sam continued to reflect on this he realised that mediation is a practise of surrendering to all that is. Whilst experiencing the bliss of being one with the source is a big part of that, so is hearing the voice of source. Sam had been playing with this idea for the last couple of days. Sam was determined in his meditation practise today to allow his thoughts to go where they may without trying to quieten his mind. He would not judge his thoughts but surrender to the process. It was about trusting if there was an answer there, it would reveal itself. If not today, then whenever the time was right. Again, no expectations. Just trust the process and source timing. Strangely enough, when Sam let go completely of all expectations and outcomes, he found himself in that state of peace and bliss much quicker than usual.
Sam did not know how long he had been in his meditative state. However, when he returned to full consciousness, he felt somehow slightly different. As he sat there, he recalled some thoughts that had randomly passed through his mind before entering a deep place of bliss. Sam thought about Sarah who had left the ashram about 6 months ago. He and Sarah had instantly bonded. He liked Sarah. She was a fiery redhead who was a polar opposite of his quiet and considered manner. It was as if they could both bring out the best in each other. Sam had missed her when she had left. He had promised to keep in touch, but they both knew he wouldn’t. He wondered whether there was a reason he thought of Sarah just before he had entered his deep meditative state. It wasn’t the first time he had thought about Sarah. He often wondered how she was faring, living with her newfound wisdom.
Strangely enough that evening just before he fell asleep, Sarah came to mind again. She was the last thing he thought about before falling asleep.
That night, he dreamt the Master was in his room talking to him. However, when he awoke the next morning, he could not remember what the Master had said. All he knew was that it was important. He could ask the Master, but he already knew what his reply would be. He would say, “Sam, you are getting closer to finding the answers you seek. When you are ready to hear the truth, you will remember my words to you.”
Sam thought back to his conversations with the Master. The key messages were, ‘the answer lies with in you Sam’ and ‘look to your heart for the answer.’ The key to healing his grief Sam knew lie in the words ‘look to your heart for the answer.’
The next night Sam again dreamt of the master and when he awoke the next morning, he remembered part of what the Master had said to him. The Master had once again told Sam look to his heart for the answer. He also remembered the Master saying something about the issue was not so much about Sam’s broken heart. Healing his grief was more about risking having his heart broken again. This made Sam question, was he holding onto his grief as a means of self protection against being hurt again?
This thought rocked Sam to his core. He had loved Clare with all of his heart, but was he stuck in the grief because it was easier to live with a familiar wound rather than risk opening up the possibility of experiencing a whole new fresh wound? Was he hanging onto the grief of losing Clare because he was afraid of losing someone else he loved?
If this was the case, Sam considered, then the root cause was not losing Clare but his fear of losing love. Sam thought back to his relationship with Clare and realised he had always been overly protective of her. He thought at the time that he was just being a good husband. That is what men do: protect their loved ones. Sam realised that the protection stemmed from his fears, not love. He had cocooned Clare and himself in their relationship.
Sam could suddenly see why the truth kept on alluding him. This was not about healing his grief, but about his fear of losing love. When Sam delved deeper, he understood where this fear had come from. His parents had separated when he was 12 and he went to live with his father. His mother met someone soon afterwards and moved interstate. Sam saw little of his mother after that. He now realised he was still mourning the loss of his mothers love.
He had held Clare close to him for fear of losing her. Sam had read once that life was a setup. Everything that happened in our lives was no accident. Every person and circumstance was there to help us grow and evolve into the truth of who we really are. Everything that had happened to him gave him the opportunity to grow into greater peace and happiness. He had also read the tougher the challenge, the greater the opportunity for growth.
Sam now understood that his love for Clare was built on faulty foundations. In order to truly love someone, you had to set them free. Whilst he had not done this whilst she was alive, he had the opportunity to do it now. True love needs to be found within and then shared. It is not something to be possessed and controlled.
Sam now knew that healing his heart was not the issue. It was never broken. The truth was, Sam needed to embrace the love within himself. The love he experienced when he was in deep meditation or the beauty and innocence of a baby. No matter how fleeting that love might be, it existed inside of him. Nothing could take away the experience of this love, it is forever etched in his memory. It is within him always, whether he feels it or not. You only need to experience it once to know that it exists. The journey now for Sam was embracing the love that dwells within him and sharing that love with others.
That night, Sam did not dream about the master, for he no longer needed the wisdom he once so desperately sought. Instead, he dreamt of Sarah.
When Sam awoke the next morning, he started packing his belongings. He felt light of heart and for the first time since Clare had passed; he felt a hope that a new amazing life was waiting for him just around the corner.